I've Gone No Contact Now What? 8 Necessary Steps
Going no contact is one of the bravest and most beneficial steps you can do for yourself. It creates a boundary line in which you have determined that self-respect and intolerance to anything but – now remain in your hands. Its a powerful stance, one that maintaining will open the doors to freedom to be who you were intended. It’s the beginning of everything you hoped to establish in your life, and possibly more.
Table of Contents
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Rest
Once a decision has been made to go no contact, the very first thing we should do is rest. Rest some more. Then rest again. You have been through hell and back.
Your mind has not been at ease, full of anxiety perhaps, stress beyond what you ever thought was possible.
Did I say rest? It is okay. You deserve it. Rest some more. Take a deep breath in and out. Do it now. Feel the air fill up in your lungs, take a pause, then let this air out. Do it again.
You are absolutely amazing. You have made it and congratulations on making an amazing choice in your life to cut the tie.
Congratulate Yourself
The next step is to congratulate yourself! You have come a long way. You have endured and you have worked hard to come to this place. You have studied narcissistic abuse and have come to terms with what happened in your life.
You may have made one of the most important decision of your life. A new beginning is coming your way. Your future is bright. Pat yourself on your back, take another breath in and let it out slowly. You did it.
Anticipate the Fallout
You may have just made one the most important decisions of your life. This decision may change your life. You have chosen the pathway to freedom and there is hope, restoration, and peace, which may be impossible to see from this point. It will get better, drastically better.
You are on the way. The narcissistic abuser may launch an all out war on you. Lies will be spread and a campaign will be launched to try to bring you down in any way. Be prepared for this.
You have chosen the pathway to freedom and there is hope, restoration, and peace, which may be impossible to see at this point. It will get better, drastically better.
Lynn Nichols
Be Prepared for feelings of Remorse
Thoughts may flood your mind such as second-guessing yourself (as that is what we have been programmed to do).
- Did I make the right decision?
- I can’t believe I am going no contact, what was I thinking!
- Is this really the right way to handle this?
- Why does it need to come to this?
- Is there any other way?
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Have a Plan
Your plan should consist of the following knowing the narcissist may be on a path to do all that is possible to destroy you.
- The narcissist may try to spread lies to whomever will hear them.
- Be prepared for the fallout
- This may be a good time to block parties on social media to obtain your peace of mind.
The lies and rumors they will try to spread is deliberately so intense and so emotionally destructive, devastating – it’s designed to get you to re-engage, to defend yourself and your actions.
It may take all you’ve got to not engage if/once you hear about the rumors. The things you were so strong in- your vulnerability, they will attack the most.
Don’t engage. Take a break from social media. The days and weeks and months following no contact may be the highest of intensity in the relationship.
Related: 3 Benefits of Being the Scapegoat
Related: Should I Confront the Narcissist?
Stand in your Integrity
When the rumor mill is working overtime- take a step back and reflect that this will come to an end. This is not forever. The steam will run out. The lies have no substance.
- Stand true to your decision.
- Stand true to what you have decided to do.
- Stand true to yourself and endure.
You can do it. You are brave. There is an amazing future for you. This will eventually cease. The well will dry up.
10 Benefits of Going No Contact - Free Download
Download the 10 Benefits of Going No Contact
Going no contact is one of the bravest things to do. You are an army of one and made it. Hat’s off!
Sometimes it’s hard, okay more than sometimes, it was a difficult task and there was much sweat and tears in the process. It’s absolutely a journey filled with high high’s and low low’s, and no one knows your journey more than you. Sometimes, we can look back on the situation and think, how did we accomplish going no contact? The strength and determination took us far. The path to freedom is not always easy, but it’s worth it. Download the 10 Benefits of Going No Contact today. Also, check out this post here.
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