14 Self-Care Tips to Recover from Narcissistic Abuse
This article was updated May 8, 2023.
I wish recovery was a simple, easy and quick process but the recovery time will depend on the quality and amount of self-care.
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I have heard that the minimum time frame is two years but it can depend on factors such as:
- Level of complex trauma (C-PTSD)
- Support system (church, family, friends, co-workers, online support, counselors, psychologists etc.)
- Diet (did your diet shift into survival mode? Are you eating carbs and sugar?)
- Level of Self-Care
- Your mindset and personal growth and determination
- Other extenuating circumstances such as:
- Did you move?
- Are you in a new city?
- Did you change jobs?
- Complexities with children
Too, there is no set time frame for recovery.
Self Care Essentials
Nobody knows you – like you. You will know when you have progressed and are getting healthier emotionally. As you are recovering prioritize the following essential self-care steps.
Get a Good Night Sleep
It’s imperative as we are recovering to have proper sleep and to get enough rapid-eye movement (REM) sleep. The body and mind cannot function to peak performance without sleep.
Take a Multi-Vitamin
After I left my narcissistic abuser, I remember feeling malnourished, I don’t recall ever feeling this way before. My body was under so much stress for so long, I was lacking nutrients that my body needed. I knew I was mentally drained; my diet was sub-par and I needed all the vitamins and nutrients to assist my body in recovering. Take a multi-vitamin consistently to help aid essential nutrients your body needs.
The body has been stressed and overloaded for so long. A good B vitamin complex can help to replenish the body after extenuating stressful circumstances.
Rest
If you find yourself to be tired more often, and sooner in the day, get some extra rest. Take naps if you can, go to bed earlier of you can. I mention rest in addition to getting a good night sleep as it is foundational in giving your body what it needs. It cannot be emphasized enough. Rest your mind, rest your heart, rest your body.
Watch your Diet
Once we have left the narcissist abuser, our body may go into survival mode – and may be in this stage for some time. I remember thinking that my co-workers ought to be happy if my outfits matched for the day. I literally had no energy for trivial things like style and attire. Few things mattered. I was only focused on the basic necessities in my life, my brain was on overload and I had little energy on non-essentials.
Be careful in sugar and carbohydrate consumption. Pounds can add up if we remain in survival mode and we pay little attention to our diet. This is what happened to me. More on this later.
I have decided to switch to a high-fat and low carbohydrate diet, a ketogenic diet, which I have found great success with – but it is not without dangers. Please see post here, discussing one danger which I do not see discussed in my research on this lifestyle and diet change.
See Update on my Keto Journey: One Danger to the Keto Diet
Get Professional Support
Enlist the help of a psychologist/therapist/counselor who understands narcissistic abuse.
This can be difficult. I was grateful to find YouTube videos of people who provided instruction and guidance. I was amazed to learn that people had survived and recovered and they had the ability to make a video. I was filled with hope as I began to learn.
I wanted to speak in-person regarding my circumstances, but I had a hard time locating a professional that truly understood narcissistic abuse.
I met with a couple counselors – who were text book savvy and had not the experience in going no contact and overcoming healing from abuse like I needed. I would receive glazed responses back from counselors and I interpreted this as she was not aware of how to truly and experientially help me to recover.
I needed to converse with someone who had “been there” and really understood, something they lived through and made it to the other side.
If you are looking for a therapist in your area, you may be able to search for local counselors who can provide guidance regarding narcissistic abuse. Online Therapy is also a great resource as well and I encourage you to check them out today.
Observe Friendships and Watch for Flying Monkeys
Friends and family may not be supportive as you wished they would be. How can this be?
When we flee from a devastating relationship and make positive changes in our lives, others may not be on board with this for one reason or another. They may be jealous and discontent with their own lives so they want to discourage us. Or, they generally lack the understanding about narcissistic abuse, which unfortunately is common and therefore may not be able to provide the support, understanding and validation needed.
Related: Loss after Narcissistic Abuse
Recover at Your Own Pace
Learning about narcissistic abuse can take a mental toll. There is so much information to absorb and to understand. Make changes at your own pace and when you are ready. There is no rush and no ribbon to cross after 26 miles. Day by day, learn what it means to be true to yourself.
Digest Information to Support Your Journey in Learning about Narcissistic Abuse
There is a lot of information available online. Take time to learn about what happened. A lot of the information can be overwhelming at times, and some of it, can cause you to lose your breath, since it can be so shocking.
Take breaks form learning about the abuse so as to help your brain process and prevent information overload.
Listen to Your Gut Intuition
This has probably gone silent and the restoration process of hearing, listening and going with your gut intuition is a special unique beautiful language to you and is beautiful and rebuilding to your healing process. Go with your gut.
Take Time to Be Renewed
This can be unique to you. Take a vacation by yourself. Learn to be comfortable in your skin. Sit in silence. Go for a walk by yourself. Try to understand what happened in the relationship and what you can learn. Listen to the birds chirp. Be open to a new path in your life, New dreams, New visions.
More Self-Care Tips
Have a Grateful Heart
Having a grateful heart may be the last thing on your mind.
How can I be grateful for what I went through?
For me, I realized I was on the wrong path. I was on the path that allowed others to take advantage of me, abuse me and not encourage me to be the best I could be. Through waking up and going through my own healing process, which is ongoing, I am relearning and rebuilding my foundation and living with a new plan of hope, restoration and vision. I am grateful what occurred, for it gave me a second chance and with that I am forever grateful.
Related: My Story – It’s About to Get Real
Embrace the Loss
I have heard it stated it is more difficult to grieve the loss of those still alive than those who have passed. Embracing this important aspect of self-care is essential. I believe this is true as we mourn and grieve the loss of family and loss of relationships, while they are living.
We grieve the loss of what never was…
Recovery will take time, and by going step-by-step through the loss, feeling it and embracing it will help us to move forward.
When we grieve the loss of family, friendships and marital relationships of what was supposed to be – or what should have been. We grieve the lies- there is so much loss, but so much to gain on the other side. We will come to walk in our identity, our purpose, embrace a mission that is heartfelt and dear to us with out the mental toxicity that has been prevalent in our life for so long.
Learn Who You Are Again
Learn what breathes life into you. Learn what brings you joy. What has hindered you in the past that you are now free to explore?
You can now live life on your own terms – that are not based on someone else’s approval of what they think you should do.
Step Out
The last tip for self-care is to step out into your next journey. Where will the road lead? What new hobbies, skills, mindsets will you take with you. The world is your oyster as they say. I am excited about your new journey!
Leave a Comment
What is your next adventure? Drop a note in the comment about which self-care tip means the most to you!
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