The Patriarchy’s Perfect Trap (Episode 93)

How Emotional and Financial Illiteracy Were Engineered to Keep Women Dependent and Men Disconnected

Is it the Perfect Trap?

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The following is a transcript from the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast

Podcast: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast

Host: Lynn Nichols

Are we teaching silence?

Lynn is a heartfelt advocate for personal growth and empowerment, and writes with raw insight on navigating narcissistic abuse, toxic relationships, and sometimes the societal challenges tied to the patriarchy. With a deeply experiential approach, her stories shed light on the emotional complexities of breaking free from toxic patterns and reclaiming one’s voice. L.N. offers fresh perspectives on gender dynamics, self-worth, and healing, encouraging readers to rebuild from within and revolutionize their relationships.

Lynn is also a trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coach and podcast host. She creates videos on her YouTube channel to bring the message of healing and recovery. Learn more on her website here.

Have you ever felt the system was rigged against you… like no matter how hard you tried, something invisible kept you stuck?

What if avoiding emotions wasn’t your idea… but something men were carefully taught… so they’d stay disconnected from themselves… and from you?

What if financial literacy was intentionally kept from women… so even when love turned into harm, leaving felt impossible?

What if the pain you feel in relationships isn’t your fault… or theirs alone… but the result of a system built to keep everyone doubting themselves… and too afraid to break free?

Welcome back to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast, I’m Lynn your Host.  Right around episode 85 our podcast was renamed to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast formerly Moving Forward with Hope – Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast. Please be sure you are subscribed to our podcast.

Related: Who Was Lucy Stone?

Today We are Going To Be Talking About:

Today… we are going to unpack how patriarchy created a perfect trap by engineering two devastating forms of illiteracy: emotional illiteracy in men and financial illiteracy in women. We’ll explore how these patterns were built, why they were so effective at keeping people trapped, and how understanding these forces can help you reclaim your power and live on your own terms.

Because when you see how the trap was made… you realize it’s not  you who’s broken. It’s the system that needs dismantling.

This is a doozy of an episode—share it with your friends.

Housekeeping and Podcast Updates

Before we dive into this topic we have some housekeeping and podcast updates to share.

We talk fast in our episodes… At times, my philosophy is you are busy and I am busy, so we want to get to the meat and the heart of the issue or issues without taking all day to get there. Your time is valuable and so is mine, so we write our scripts, research and I write the scripts again to condense the information… Yet at times, it can be packed with a lot of information in one sentence. I recommend if this is you, to download our episode, save it, and listen to it again. Download our show notes, save it to a folder so you have time to fully digest the content of the message…

• We’ve updated (and still are updating) our podcast episode titles, descriptions, and links—many titles now include episode numbers. We are adding in subtitles and updating descriptions on our older episodes. If you’ve saved or shared direct links, please double-check they still work.
• Our podcast is hosted on Acast, which distributes to all major platforms (like Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon music, Pandora, I heart radio…last we checked, we are on 29 different podcast platforms). You can always subscribe on Acast to be sure you have the most up to date link, and up to date episodes and receive them as soon as we publish them.
• Some exciting things are unfolding behind the scenes. Stay tuned for additional updates coming soon.

So, what Is Emotional Illiteracy?

Emotional illiteracy means not knowing how to identify, name, or express your feelings. It’s like having emotions surge through your body but no words or tools to understand or share them.

Imagine a boy who’s scolded when he cries… teased when he shows fear… praised only when he hides pain. By the time he’s a man, he’s learned to shut down or explode but never to communicate what’s going on inside.

Emotional illiteracy isn’t just awkward or inconvenient. It’s dangerous. It leaves people disconnected from themselves, unable to connect with others, and vulnerable to manipulation because they can’t trust their own internal cues.

And now a quick definition on financial illiteracy.

Financial illiteracy is the lack of knowledge or confidence to earn, manage, and protect your own money. But it goes deeper: it’s the conditioning that teaches you money is not your domain, that you must depend on someone else for financial security.

Historically, women were denied the right to own property, inherit wealth, or even open a bank account without a man’s approval. Even today, many women grow up hearing money talk is “for men” or “unladylike.”

Financial illiteracy keeps people trapped in unhealthy relationships and power imbalances… It turns love into dependence, forcing women to stay where they are neither safe nor valued, or in a narcissistic abusive relationship for example.

A Brief History of How This Was Engineered

This wasn’t a few bad individuals pushing outdated ideas. This was a society-wide operation spanning centuries…

For boys, emotional suppression was enforced through fathers, schools, media, and even religion. They were taught to equate masculinity with emotional numbness and aggression.

For girls, financial suppression was achieved through legal restrictions and cultural norms… In many places, women couldn’t own land, control their own wages, or access credit well into the 20th century. The very structures of law, church, and custom conspired to keep women economically tied to men…

This is not ancient history, it shaped our parents, grandparents, and still echoes in subtle ways today.

Listen to the Full Podcast Episode, subscribe to our Show.

Episode 92: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast

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