Marital Coercion: The Topic that is Now About to Blow Up the Internet - 12 Wild Truths to Uncover
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There is nothing sexier than operating within boundaries and consent, for women, that is. And yes, I’m talking about in the bedroom. It’s a topic we have not covered yet on this site, and well, today is the day.
I have recently been introduced to a content creator via TIKTOK and I am so impressed with her topic on marital coercion. Please visit her site here, read her content as it’s impactful, genuine, honest, vulnerable and down to earth.
It’s a topic that has been so buried in the sand for decades (or longer), and that few have dared to go near this subject.
Well today, no hold barred. It’s time to discuss…
Why is now the time?
Are We in a Relationship Crisis
After all, why not during a this “relationship” crisis that we are in now.
Where women are speaking and sharing about how we want the men to do the work, to evolve with us, go to therapy, take a look at how this patriarchy that we are in not just affecting women but the men are affected as well.
Let's Go in Deep on this Subject
It’s time to go in even deeper and talk about the everyday things that are affecting our lives.
It’s time to pull back the curtain and get us all on the same page.
It’s time we have a heart to heart.
Come Along!
On this site, we talk a lot about narcissism, which includes tactics that are used against others for gain. We talk about healing modalities, and now we might talk about this subject a bit.
I invite you to subscribe to our newsletter, which we send out to you – directly to your inbox of our new articles and we also have a weekly summary of all articles over the past week or so. We do not spam and unsubscribe at any time. Share and forward of course.
The Topic Might Be Hated From Both Sides
Marital coercion is such a deep topic. I am sure I will get hate comments from men that are not ready to discuss this topic, at that women are not ready to talk about.
Side Note: It does not only occur just within marriages. It can occur within dating relationships too. And it’s not just men.
But what are we talking about here?
Marital coercion is an insidious form of abuse in which one person routinely uses guilt, shame, feelings of depression and sadness, as well as anger and frustration to manipulate their partner into unwanted sex.
Marital coercion is an insidious form of abuse in which one person routinely uses guilt, shame, feelings of depression and sadness, as well as anger and frustration to manipulate their partner into unwanted sex.
Why is Marital Coercion Hard to Talk About
Here are some of the hurdles we have when we talk about this subject. In short, it’s going to shake things up. Like literally everything.
Some have been ready for this topic and there are some of us who aren’t. My respect to both sides of the equation.
We are at a sensitive time in history where men are suffering in relationships, the lonely epidemic, we have alpha male podcast creators gaslighting men, women and society into what they believe the problem is, we have a desire for the patriarchy to come crashing down, which is stirring fear in the hearts of aware men – the discussions on feminism, and the men are panicking.
How will this impact the #MeToo Movement.
It’s like a revolt has been waiting to come.
In the past few years, feminism has been talked about more, then weaponized incompetence has surfaced, then we have songs like the Miley Cyrus song about we can buy our own flowers, the Paris Paloma song, on Labour and now women are rising on the occasion and going in on what really occurs within the confines of marriage or relationships.
It’s a Generational Abuse Topic.
If your grandmother was alive, she would probably say not to speak about it, to take it to your grave. That this subject is not to be talked about.
That women are to be silent about abuse that occurs within marriage.
That we, women took a vow to do x y and z. to cherish, love, support. And that if we speak about what goes on within the confines of marriage (and relationships) that we are disloyal, that we are not loving.
The women are now speaking.
Men Wanted Women to be Silent
The men never wanted the women to speak. The men didn’t want women to speak because they have been afraid of what we will say. They have tried to keep us silent, controlled, obedient, with child and or raising child(ren), away from education. They used the tactics of gaslighting, minimizing, dismissing, belittling, and a host of other tactics to keep us compliciant without any choice.
Women have been silenced for decades – centuries.
Men have taken credit for accomplishments of women.
Women have come to the boiling point and we are saying no more.
Not only do we want equality, but we want our voices heard, counted, because we are human and we deserve it. We have always deserved it.
And it’s not just for these aforementioned reasons, when women talk, open up and share, there is victim blaming, a lot of times (as I said earlier) it goes against cultural and societal norms which have been in place for decades, or longer, there is lack of awareness of this subject, there is cognitive dissonance against talking about it, we may be in denial about, shock that someone is actually talking about this…
In addition, there is fear of retaliation from family, friends, really anyone that is not ready for this to be discussed. There are some women, that even though this may have been happening to them for many many years, are not at a place where they can comfortably talk about it.
Some women, absolutely cannot talk about it. They may be in an abusive marriage, a heavily controlled marriage where they cannot speak, cannot share their mind, they are isolated and if they were to speak, no one, they feel would believe them. So they remain silent to protect themself, which is understood.
Marital coercion has become normalized in society. Women are told they are supposed to put up with it to satisfy the needs of their man.
My friends, this runs deep.
Marital Coercion Defined and Signs
Marital coercion refers to situations in which one spouse exerts pressure, control, or manipulation over the other in order to make them comply with certain actions or decisions.
It can involve emotional, psychological, and sometimes even physical abuse. Recognizing these signs is crucial for identifying potential problems in a marriage.
Here are some common signs of marital coercion:
Isolation: The coercive spouse may try to isolate their partner from friends, family, and social activities, making them more dependent on them and less likely to seek help.
Controlling Behavior: This can include monitoring the partner’s activities, whereabouts, and interactions, often with the intention of exerting power and control.
Manipulation: The coercive spouse may use guilt, shame, or other emotional tactics to manipulate their partner into doing what they want.
Threats and Intimidation: This could involve threats of physical harm, verbal abuse, or other forms of intimidation to maintain control.
Financial Control: The coercive spouse might control the finances, making the other spouse financially dependent and less able to leave the relationship.
Emotional Abuse: This can include constant criticism, belittling, humiliation, or demeaning comments that erode the partner’s self-esteem.
Gaslighting: The coercive spouse may manipulate the other’s perception of reality, making them doubt their own thoughts, feelings, and memories.
Lack of Autonomy: The coerced partner may have limited decision-making power and may be forced to defer to the coercive spouse’s choices.
Withdrawal from Activities: The coerced partner might withdraw from hobbies, interests, or activities they used to enjoy due to pressure from the coercive spouse.
Physical Abuse: In some cases, marital coercion can escalate to physical violence or threats of violence.
Forced Intimacy: The coerced partner might be coerced into engaging in intimate acts against their will.
Fear: The coerced partner might exhibit signs of fear or anxiety around their spouse, walking on eggshells to avoid conflict.
When men act in a manipulative and coercive way toward their wives, it breaks the trust. They are betraying their partner and the desire for romantic intimacy dies.
Ask The Hard Questions - Let's Go!
Do you feel like you have the freedom to say “no” to sexual activities without facing negative consequences?
Do you feel that your partner values your consent and actively seeks it before engaging in sexual activities?
Do you feel that your partner respects your decisions regarding sexual intimacy?
Have there been instances when you felt guilty for not wanting to be sexually intimate with your partner?
Do you feel like you have control over your own body and decisions within your intimate relationship?
Has your partner ever made you feel pressured or uncomfortable when it comes to sexual activities?
Has this happened to you? Are you ready to talk about it?
