Ep. 116 Scapegoat Perfectionism: Surviving Narcissistic Family Expectations
Published: January 09 2026
Scapegoat Perfectionism
You’ve spent years obsessing over every mistake, convinced that if you could just be perfect
enough, the criticism would finally stop. But what if that relentless drive for flawlessness isn’t actually about excellence—it’s a trauma response you developed to survive in a narcissistic family system? In this episode, we expose the dangerous cycle that keeps scapegoats trapped in exhausting perfectionism, and reveal why no amount of achievement will ever satisfy an abusive system designed to keep you striving.
- The hidden reason perfectionism feels like strength but operates like a prison—and why your nervous system still believes mistakes are dangerous
- Why narcissistic parents move the goalposts no matter how much you accomplish, and what that reveals about what’s really happening
- The critical difference between healthy standards and survival-based perfectionism that most people never recognize
- What your relentless self-criticism actually proves about the system that shaped you, not about who you really are
If you’ve wondered why achievement never feels like enough, or why you’re still haunted by that internal voice demanding perfection, this episode reveals the truth about the scapegoat’s armor and what happens when you finally take it off.
About the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast
Podcast: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast
Mission: Validation. Rebuild. Revolutionize. Deconstructing Patriarchy.
Host: Lynn Nichols
Follow our work beyond the podcast: We publish essays and insights on Medium through our Moving Forward with Hope publication. Join us there to go deeper, connect with others, and support the movement.
Lynn is a heartfelt advocate for personal growth and empowerment, and writes with raw insight on navigating narcissistic abuse, toxic relationships, and sometimes the societal challenges tied to the patriarchy. With a deeply experiential approach, her stories shed light on the emotional complexities of breaking free from toxic patterns, connecting with lived experience that gender dynamics, self-worth, and healing, encouraging readers to rebuild from within and revolutionize their relationships.
Discover a safe haven and a wellspring of insight with the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast. In this candid, relevant, and eye-opening show, host Lynn, author and passionate recovery advocate, guides you through the landscape of toxic relationships and covert narcissistic abuse dynamics. With honesty, depth, and tough love, Lynn helps you recognize subtle manipulation tactics and offers practical strategies to heal, rebuild, and reclaim your power.
Episodes dive into the complexities of narcissistic family systems, exploring roles like scapegoat and golden child, and shedding light on the pain of enmeshment. We tackle topics like going no contact, setting boundaries, and uncovering covert dynamics that keep you from thriving. Our conversations go beyond personal trauma to examine how narcissism is woven into broader cultural systems, including patriarchy’s influence on gender roles and equality.
In-Depth Conversations: Learn about covert tactics like gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and financial control, and uncover strategies to reclaim your autonomy and cultivate independence.
Practical Guidance: From detailed strategies for going no contact to navigating emotional labor and overcoming self-doubt, our episodes offer tools you can apply right away.
Broader Perspectives: Understand how narcissistic abuse intersects with societal issues like gender inequality, workplace bias, and cultural conditioning.
Our work goes beyond personal relationships to show how narcissism is embedded in cultural systems and structures like patriarchy. By unpacking gender roles and systemic inequality, we aim to reveal how these dynamics shape our lives. Available on all major podcast networks. Subscribe today.
Our podcast exists to expose and challenge the systems that diminish, control, and silence. We focus on what has been overlooked, question what has been normalized, and create space for healing, clarity, and collective strength. Serving as a resource of hope, encouragement, and validation, us victims of narcissistic abuse can rebuild their lives and pursue dreams, visions, and intentional living.
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. The content shared is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please seek help from a qualified professional or contact a local crisis hotline.
Podcast: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast – available on all major networks
🔗 Additional Healing Resources & Support: 🌟 movingforwardafterabuse.com
