The Probability of a Golden Child Becoming Narcissistic as an Adult: Unraveling the 3 Dynamics
One of the most popular or often-asked question, I receive frequently is the probability of the golden child becoming narcissistic or a narcissist later on in life.
And while this is a loaded topic and there will be many questions, we are going to dive into this topic to explore this probability in further detail.
This is not an easy question to answer but let’s dive in.
My hope is that you will be able to gain clarity on your situation, or research to understand that the answer, may not be an astounding Yes, or No, and we will delve in to determine why.
Table of Contents
Narcissism is Complex
While narcissists behave in a cyclical fashion with the cycle of abuse (idealize, devalue, and discard), making a blanket statement that, “All golden children become XYZ,” later in life is not a statement I am ready to make.
Narcissism as a whole is a complex social dynamic. Yes, we can recognize patterns but it’s not a one-solve for all, I’m afraid. But on the flip side, we have a lot to learn on the subject.
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Golden Children - Overall Concept
While we have discussed golden children, (their challenges, struggles, their relationship with the scapegoat of the family, and more…), let’s recap why the golden child is called the golden child.
The golden child, as opposed to the other members of a narcissistic family environment (scapegoat, enabler, narcissist, lost child, etc), is the member of the family that receives: accolades, and praise, and is treated like they can do no wrong, put on a pedestal so to speak – but it’s not a one-time event.
It’s repeated and reinforced. It’s compounded over and over again by not only family, but extended family, then this can “leak” out to friends, even acquaintances, and colleagues, and the list grows…
The concept of a “golden child” refers to a role within a family dynamic where one child is favored and praised excessively, often at the expense of other siblings (i.e. scapegoat, lost child, etc.).
While being the golden child may seem appealing on the surface, studies have shown that this upbringing can lead to potential psychological challenges later in life.
One such challenge is the development of narcissistic tendencies (later on in life).
In this article, we will explore the probability of a golden child becoming narcissistic when they reach adulthood, shedding light on the underlying factors and potential outcomes.
Ready to dive in?
Does the Golden Child Wear a Crown?
The golden child dynamic can arise for various reasons, such as the child possessing certain qualities or talents that align with the parents’ expectations, or simply being the firstborn or only child.
They often receive excessive attention (not just regular attention), admiration, and preferential treatment from their parents, which can create an idealized self-image in their minds.
Is it the Birth of Narcissism?
Narcissism is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for constant admiration, and a lack of empathy toward others.
While not all golden children become narcissistic, their upbringing can contribute to the development of narcissistic traits due to several factors:
1. Overvaluation and Entitlement
The constant praise and favoritism bestowed upon the golden child can foster a sense of entitlement, leading them to believe they are superior and deserving of special treatment.
This overvaluation can inflate their ego and fuel narcissistic tendencies.
What is important to note is this constant praise and even adoration is reinforced time and time again and endorsed or perpetuated by one or more parents or even siblings – even to extended family.
They are treated like they are gifted, without necessarily doing extravagant life-saving things…they are just treated differently, special.
Why one child is treated differently than another is a whole different topic to be discussed later but some of it is covered here.
When children are young, they should receive a proper amount of support, praise, and encouragement.
2. Lack of True Genuine Empathy
Empathy is an endearing trait to have, some even characterize it as a skill; however, growing up with repeated accolades with superstar status can foster a lack of empathy in golden children.
The golden child may struggle to understand or relate to the experiences and emotions of others, leading to a lack of genuine empathy.
Can they fake empathy? Yes! But, it’s done in a twisted way and often supports blame-shifting, for example, (I’m sorry you feel that way…)
3. Unrealistic Expectations
The excessive admiration and expectations placed upon the golden child can create immense pressure to maintain an idealized self-image.
Failing to meet these expectations can result in feelings of insecurity, which may manifest as narcissistic tendencies as a defense mechanism.
4. Enabling Environment
If the golden child’s narcissistic traits are reinforced and rewarded, either implicitly or explicitly, it can further solidify their belief in their own superiority.
This reinforcement within the family environment can perpetuate the development of narcissistic behavior.
The Same with the Scapegoat
A similar occurrence occurs with the scapegoat. When the scapegoat is overlooked, criticized, and treated as less than others over and over again by not only caretakers, they can begin to internalize how others treat them over and over again. They can take on self-sabotaging behaviors and may suffer from poor or improper self-esteem. Learn about the dynamics between the Scapegoat and the Golden child, why he relationship is strained, what the Scapegoat can do, why the scapegoat is disrespected (and worse), and even ostracized.
How to Prevent Narcissism in the Golden Child?
It is important to note that not all golden children will become narcissistic adults.
Many factors, such as the child’s personality, the presence of positive role models outside the family, and experiences that challenge their entitled worldview, can mitigate the likelihood of developing narcissistic tendencies.
Note: If one or more caretakers have narcissistic tendencies, the golden child may model the behaviors, and attitudes, by this caretaker. Too, keep in mind, there may be a motivation for a narcissistic caretaker to have a golden child (narcissistic supply, enmeshment, manipulation).
1. Encourage Healthy Relationships and Interactions
Golden children should be exposed to diverse social environments where they can learn the value of empathy, cooperation, and equality.
Encouraging healthy relationships with peers and promoting empathy can counteract the self-centeredness that may have developed during their upbringing.
2. Promoting Self-Awareness
Helping golden children develop self-awareness can facilitate introspection and an understanding of the impact of their actions on others.
Teaching them to reflect on their behavior and emotions can foster empathy and discourage narcissistic tendencies.
3. Balance Praise and Criticism
While recognition and praise are important for a child’s self-esteem, it is crucial to provide constructive criticism and teach them how to handle failure or setbacks.
It can’t be one-sided with just praise and accolades only.
The scapegoat can’t be the party that receives only the criticism.
This balanced approach can help golden children develop a realistic, healthy, and proper self-image (not one that is inflated) and reduce the risk of leaning toward developing narcissistic tendencies.
While being the golden child in a family may initially seem like a privileged position, it can carry the risk of developing narcissistic tendencies in adulthood.
The probability of a golden child becoming narcissistic depends on various factors, including the child’s personality, family dynamics, and the presence of mitigating influences.
By fostering healthy relationships, promoting self-awareness, and providing a balanced approach to praise and criticism, the probability of the golden child developing narcissistic tendencies as an adult can be be significantly reduced.
Drop a comment below, were you the Family Scapegoat, or the Golden Child? Perhaps you were the Lost Child? Has this article been helpful? Drop your questions or comments below!
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I’m the scapegoat/lost child in the family dynamic. My mother is the narcissist and my elder sister the golden child. Some recent events where I felt ostracized from family functions has confirmed that my sister’s personality has evolved deeper into a narcissistic frame of mind. It has been a revelation to me and I feel as if my relationship with my family has been irrevocably broken. I feel so sick that it has affected my daily lifr.
I have experienced the same as anonymous above (except my sister is younger) and I went no contact three years ago with both of them and my sister’s fiancé who was involved in trying to turn my children against me. No one stood up for me. While it feels sad and lonely, the realization that they will never change nor are they sorry helps ground me in reality and it slowly gets better. I wish I could have seen it sooner.