7 Truths About What Would Really Happen If Men Respected Women

From Weaponized Flattery to True Partnership: Why Genuine Respect, Empathy, and Gender Equity Still Challenge the Patriarchal Status Quo

If Men Respected Women

Welcome back to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast, where we let you know what you went through and experienced or currently are experiencing is real.

I’m Lynn, your host.

Today we’re talking about a question that digs beneath the surface of social politeness: What would really happen if men started to respect women—not just in theory, not just when it benefits them—but in actual practice? Would society collapse? Would relationships unravel? Or would we finally see something better emerge?

We’re exploring how that shift would transform relationships, dismantle rigid gender roles, rewire marriage dynamics, and challenge the systems that rely on women staying small, silent, and self-sacrificing. This is a doozy of an episode—share it with your friends.

Let’s talk about what respect really means—and what might happen if men stopped performing it and started living it.

This podcast exists to discuss the systems that diminish, control, and silence. We focus on what’s been overlooked, question what’s been normalized, and create space for healing, clarity, and collective strength.

The phrase “I respect women” isn’t one most men say freely—or frequently.

And when they do, it’s usually after being confronted.
It’s reactive, not reflective. Self-preserving, not sincere.

Because what we often see isn’t respect.  It might just be empty words.

Men might say the right things, but the feeling, the intention, the depth—it’s not there.

Listen to the Podcast Episode

That’s what we mean by performance.
Words without weight. Behavior without belief. Action without alignment. Positive words to keep away the consequences.

And the truth is, many men don’t respect women because they’ve never been taught to see women as equals—emotionally, intellectually, spiritually.

They’re not trained to value those outside their own reflection.
Our culture doesn’t teach boys to develop empathy unless doing so serves them in some way. If someone has authority over them, or can grant them something they want—they’ll pay attention. But connection for its own sake? Recognition without control?

That’s not modeled. That’s not reinforced.

Practicing respect would mean feeling what women feel. It would mean developing empathy.
And that kind of emotional intelligence is still treated like a weakness in most models of masculinity.

If men truly respected women, relationships wouldn’t just shift structurally—they’d shift existentially.

Because it’s not just about seeing the work women do.

It’s about seeing women as fully human.

Not as support staff. Not as emotional assistants. Not as domesticated nurturers who hold the emotional and logistical threads of life while men play the lead.

But as sovereign beings. Whole. Independent.

With their own thoughts, desires, quirks, politics, strange obsessions, career goals, flaws, fears, weird humor, and sexual preferences.

Women aren’t here to hold a man’s world together.  Or to just be their support partner.

Women have worlds of their own.

And in a culture where women are seen this way, we’d see the collapse of pick-me culture.

Because women wouldn’t be scrambling for crumbs of attention.

They wouldn’t be performing submissiveness to be seen as “wife material.”
They wouldn’t be shrinking themselves to fit someone else’s script.

We talked about this Pick Me Culture deeply in Episode 86 and Episode 87, where we broke down the origins and impact of pick-me behavior, and how women are taught to earn validation by erasing themselves. And, the true cost of living and operating with the pick me life philosophy.
If you missed those, go back and listen. Today’s episode builds directly on that foundation.

When respect becomes real, women no longer feel the need to contort themselves to be accepted..
They stop surviving and start existing—for themselves.

This means women would be able to stop operating in survival mode—constantly accommodating, appeasing, and anticipating—and begin living in alignment with who they truly are.

Now let’s take this shift into the workplace.

If men truly respected women, we wouldn’t need special panels or diversity campaigns titled “Women in Leadership.”

We’d simply have leaders.

No asterisks. No qualifiers. No curated exceptions.

Because here’s the reality:
We don’t have “Men in Leadership” initiatives.
Why?

Because male leadership is assumed. It’s baked into the structure. It doesn’t need to be highlighted or explained—because it’s already seen as normal, natural, and default.

The very existence of “Women in Leadership” programming is evidence that women are still seen as outside the norm. Their leadership must be framed, spotlighted, and sometimes even defended—just to be taken seriously.

But if respect were real, if equality were standard, we wouldn’t need to prove women belong in positions of power.

They’d already be there—recognized, supported, and integrated—without being tokenized or exceptionalized.

Women wouldn’t need to outperform their male peers just to be invited into the room.
They wouldn’t be praised for “breaking the glass ceiling”—because the ceiling wouldn’t be there in the first place.

And men wouldn’t treat not harassing women as a personal achievement.
Respect would be the baseline—not a badge.

This isn’t just theory—it’s reality in places where gender equity is prioritized.

Countries like Iceland, Finland, and Norway have built workplace policies and leadership structures that include women without treating them like anomalies.
They offer paid parental leave, gender-balanced political representation, and workplace cultures that don’t frame empathy or collaboration as weakness.

This isn’t about “helping” women.

It’s about correcting a system that has treated half the population as optional.

Equality doesn’t weaken leadership.

It strengthens it.

Now let’s talk about one of the most common manipulation tactics used to avoid equality in the home: weaponized flattery.

“She’s better at organizing the house.”
“She’s more naturally nurturing.”
“Women are just drawn to cleaning, it’s biology.”

No. It’s not biology.
It’s training. Repetition. Expectation.

It’s patriarchy disguised as praise.

And it’s designed to keep women in place.

When men act like they’re complimenting women for their “natural” domestic talents, what they’re really doing is opting out.

Opting out of effort. Out of empathy. Out of responsibility.

Because if it’s just women’s nature to handle everything, then men can feel virtuous while doing nothing.

But true respect would recognize that household labor, emotional support, and caretaking aren’t female tasks.
They’re human ones.

And maybe, just maybe, respect is only half the question.

What if men not only respected women—but empathized with them?
What if they felt the weight women carry instead of observing it from a distance?

We’ll explore that in a future episode. Stay tuned.

Now we’re going to go deeper—because this next part rarely gets said:

A man who respects a woman values her pleasure.

Not just her functionality. Not her service. Not her compliance.

Her pleasure.

He doesn’t see sex as something he gets from her.
He sees it as something shared—something reciprocal, intimate, real.

A man who respects a woman will want her to enjoy herself.
He’ll take interest. He’ll ask. He’ll listen. He’ll learn.

Because sex isn’t a reward he earns by being nice.
It’s not a chore she owes him to keep the peace.

Yes, we just said this.

It’s about connection, agency, safety, autonomy, and mutual desire.

And we have to ask:
What kind of relationship is built on one person giving and the other taking?

Not a respectful one.

So why haven’t we made this shift?

Because it’s not just about individual men being afraid of change.

It’s about systems. Power. Structure.

According to OECD, UN Women, and WEF data, when women rise—men who’ve been trained to equate dominance with worth often feel threatened.

We’re watching it in real time.

Recent legislative rollbacks on reproductive rights, bodily autonomy, and economic access don’t happen in a vacuum.

They’re reactions.
They’re pushback from a system that’s trying to hold on.

And when women challenge it—by speaking, writing, refusing, rebuilding—they get labeled bitter, angry, aggressive and difficult.

Why?

Because they disrupt the narrative that says women should be grateful just to be included.

But there are alternatives. Societies where gender equity isn’t just tolerated—it’s normalized.

In Scandinavia, women hold power, raise families, run businesses, and live fully—without having to barter with patriarchy.

We don’t have to imagine what it looks like.

We can look to it, learn from it, and ask—why not here?

So what would really happen if men respected women?

Not just with words. But with action. With empathy. With effort.

The world wouldn’t fall apart.

But the illusion of male superiority would.

And maybe that’s exactly what needs to happen.

You’ve been listening to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast.

If this episode struck a nerve, challenged your perspective, or gave you clarity—share it.
This is how the conversation spreads.

And if you’ve ever been told your standards are too high, your expectations too unrealistic, or your truth too loud—

You’re not asking for too much.
You’re asking for respect.

And you deserve it.

If you enjoyed this episode, leave us a positive review—it helps others find the podcast and join the conversation. For more resources, visit movingforwardafterabuse.com and if you’d like to support the show, you can drop something in our tip jar on Buy Me a Coffee—the link is in the episode description.

This is Lynn, and I’ll see you in the next one.

Additional Reading:

OECD Report

Title: Man Enough? Measuring Masculine Norms to Promote Women’s Empowerment
Key finding:

“Men can feel threatened by increases in women’s relative independence and resort to physical violence to re-establish their dominance and control in the household.”

Source: OECD, 2021
Link: https://www.oecd.org/en/publications/man-enough-measuring-masculine-norms-to-promote-women-s-empowerment_6ffd1936-en.html

UN Women Briefing

Title: The Manosphere Is No Joke: UN Women Explains Why
Key insight:
UN Women discusses how the rise of misogynistic online spaces is directly linked to backlash against women’s empowerment and increased visibility.

Source: UN Women, 2025
Link: https://www.unwomen.org/en/news-stories/media-advisory/2025/05/the-manosphere-is-no-joke-un-women-explains-why

World Economic Forum Article

Title: Do Successful Female Leaders Have to Deal with Intimidated Men?
Key finding:

“Men act more aggressively toward hypothetical female bosses… likely because they feel challenged by the women’s authority.”

Source: World Economic Forum, 2015
Link: https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2015/07/do-successful-female-leaders-have-to-deal-with-intimidated-men/

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