Why Is Respect for Women Still So Hard for Some Men? A Real Conversation About Gender, Power, and the Patriarchy
Respect for Women
We’ve made progress — or at least that’s what we like to think. Women are breaking barriers, leading boardrooms, owning their voices, and showing up in ways our grandmothers could only dream of. And yet… one stubborn truth keeps resurfacing: some men still struggle to respect women — even when those women have done everything to “deserve” it.
Let’s pause there.
Why should anyone have to earn basic human respect?
That question alone unravels generations of conditioning. It invites us into a conversation that’s uncomfortable, layered, and long overdue. Because while gender equality might be trending, the reflexive, internalized disrespect of women still quietly thrives — in homes, relationships, workplaces, and everyday conversations.
1. The Patriarchy Didn't Just Disappear Because We Got Jobs
If you’re a man raised to believe you’re the default leader in every room, every relationship, every decision — then a woman showing up with her own ideas, standards, and voice feels like rebellion. Not because it is… but because it threatens what you were taught about your place in the world.
The patriarchy handed men a script: Be the provider. Be respected. Be followed. Women? Be supportive. Be soft. Be grateful.
Now that script is being rewritten — and some men are flipping the pages, trying to find the part where they’re still in charge.
2. “I Respect Women” Is Easy to Say. Living It? Not So Much.
Plenty of men say the right words. “Of course I respect women.” They may even believe it. But respect isn’t what you say — it’s what you do, especially when no one’s watching.
Respect is shown when your partner’s voice interrupts yours — and you let her finish.
It’s in doing your share of the dishes without being asked.
It’s in not making her feel like her emotions are “too much.”
It’s in seeing her as an equal — not a project to fix, or a body to manage, or a helper to your greatness.
Verbal respect is easy. Emotional respect requires work.
3. Historically, Men Didn’t Have to Respect Women. And It Shows.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: respect for women is a relatively new social expectation. Historically, women didn’t need to be respected — they needed to be obedient. Pleasant. Useful.
So when a woman walks into a room today and demands to be treated with the same dignity, space, and authority as a man? Some men freeze. Not because she’s wrong — but because they were never taught how to respond to that kind of power without feeling like they’re losing theirs.
4. Men Are Conditioned to Respect Power. But Only in Other Men.
From the locker room to the boardroom, men are taught to respect dominance, strength, money, titles. And usually… other men who have those things.
But what happens when a woman walks in holding power? When she challenges them, outperforms them, or refuses to submit?
Some men respect her.
Others feel threatened and start looking for ways to cut her down — with sarcasm, with silence, with manipulation, or control disguised as protection.
That’s not about her. It’s about a system that taught men their worth depends on staying one rung higher than women.
5. Underneath the Disrespect? A Deep Belief About Who Deserves What
The belief that men are more deserving — of time, space, praise, rest, resources — is so deeply ingrained, many don’t even notice it. They just live it.
That’s why you’ll see men who expect meals, sex, admiration, emotional labor… without realizing they give very little in return. Because on some subconscious level, they think they’re owed those things. That it’s part of the deal.
And when a woman pushes back, when she says “No more,” when she chooses herself — the reaction can be volatile. Not always physical. Often emotional. Withholding. Cold. Punishing.
Because to them, her refusal to play the old role feels like betrayal — not evolution.
6. The Emotional Toll of Shifting Power Dynamics
Let’s be honest: many men weren’t raised to handle the emotional labor that today’s relationships require. Vulnerability, empathy, self-reflection — those were labeled weak. Now women are asking for exactly those things. And a lot of men are emotionally unequipped.
Rather than grow, some retreat. Or worse — retaliate.
They’ll accuse women of being too sensitive. Too emotional. Too difficult.
When in reality, they’re just asking for the kind of partnership that honors both people equally.
But for a man who grew up being praised just for showing up, being asked to meet someone halfway can feel like an attack.
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7. Breaking the Cycle Starts With Unlearning — Not Defending
So how do we shift this?
Not with more performative apologies or “I respect women” tweets. But with real, uncomfortable, courageous inner work. Men have to get curious about their own conditioning. Ask where these beliefs came from. Question why certain things feel threatening. Explore how they define respect — and who they believe deserves it.
That takes humility. And most importantly, it takes listening — not just to respond, but to understand.
Women, meanwhile, don’t owe softness to those who refuse to see their full humanity. You don’t have to coddle someone who’s committed to misunderstanding you. You don’t have to shrink to be seen.
Your worth isn’t up for debate. Respect isn’t a reward — it’s a baseline.
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