Ep. 112 The Respect Gap: Why Men Know How to Respect But Choose Not to Extend It to Women
Decoding the Performance of Respect and How Narcissists Weaponize It
Published: December 31 2025
Respect Gap
Have you ever felt like something was off in how you’re being treated, but couldn’t quite name it? Like the words say one thing but the actions tell a completely different story?
You’re not imagining it. There’s a gap between what many people claim respect looks like and what it actually feels like to receive it. And for women, especially those recovering from narcissistic relationships, understanding this gap changes everything.
In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on why this disconnect exists and persists. We’ll explore how respect gets performed rather than practiced, why some people know exactly what they’re doing when they withhold it, and what it costs them to actually give it. This isn’t about blame. It’s about clarity. Because once you can see the pattern, you can stop questioning yourself and start making informed choices about what you’re willing to accept.
If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much,” “too sensitive,” or “asking for too much” when you simply asked to be valued, this episode is for you.
In This Episode:
- What the “respect gap” really is and why it’s not in your head
- The difference between performing respect and actually practicing it
- Why the “I don’t understand what you want” excuse is strategic, not confusion
- How narcissists weaponize the appearance of respect as a control tactic
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Also, listen to episodes 88 and 89 as they are related to this one
Go here to read more: https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/covert-sabotage/.
Top Episodes on the Patriarchy:
Episode 109: When the Whole World Acts Like Your Ex.
Episode 106: How Societal Gaslighting, Love Bombing, and Manipulation Became Cultural Norms
Ep. 103 The Awakening: How Narcissistic Abuse Patterns Are Embedded in Every System Women Face
Ep. 102 Emotionally Absent: When Patriarchy Teaches Men to Disconnect
Ep. 92 Why Patriarchy Indirectly Teaches Silence, Isolation, and Your Compliance
Ep. 100 Covert Sabotage: How to Recognize Hidden Psychological Warfare in Relationships
Ep. 84 How Misogyny is the Rite of Passage for Masculinity
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About the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast
Podcast: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast
Mission: Validation. Rebuild. Revolutionize. Deconstructing Patriarchy.
Host: Lynn Nichols
Follow our work beyond the podcast: We publish essays and insights on Medium through our Moving Forward with Hope publication. Join us there to go deeper, connect with others, and support the movement.
Lynn is a heartfelt advocate for personal growth and empowerment, and writes with raw insight on navigating narcissistic abuse, toxic relationships, and sometimes the societal challenges tied to the patriarchy. With a deeply experiential approach, her stories shed light on the emotional complexities of breaking free from toxic patterns, connecting with lived experience that gender dynamics, self-worth, and healing, encouraging readers to rebuild from within and revolutionize their relationships.
Discover a safe haven and a wellspring of insight with the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast. In this candid, relevant, and eye-opening show, host Lynn, author and passionate recovery advocate, guides you through the landscape of toxic relationships and covert narcissistic abuse dynamics. With honesty, depth, and tough love, Lynn helps you recognize subtle manipulation tactics and offers practical strategies to heal, rebuild, and reclaim your power.
Episodes dive into the complexities of narcissistic family systems, exploring roles like scapegoat and golden child, and shedding light on the pain of enmeshment. We tackle topics like going no contact, setting boundaries, and uncovering covert dynamics that keep you from thriving. Our conversations go beyond personal trauma to examine how narcissism is woven into broader cultural systems, including patriarchy’s influence on gender roles and equality.
In-Depth Conversations: Learn about covert tactics like gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and financial control, and uncover strategies to reclaim your autonomy and cultivate independence.
Practical Guidance: From detailed strategies for going no contact to navigating emotional labor and overcoming self-doubt, our episodes offer tools you can apply right away.
Broader Perspectives: Understand how narcissistic abuse intersects with societal issues like gender inequality, workplace bias, and cultural conditioning.
Our work goes beyond personal relationships to show how narcissism is embedded in cultural systems and structures like patriarchy. By unpacking gender roles and systemic inequality, we aim to reveal how these dynamics shape our lives. Available on all major podcast networks. Subscribe today.
Our podcast exists to expose and challenge the systems that diminish, control, and silence. We focus on what has been overlooked, question what has been normalized, and create space for healing, clarity, and collective strength. Serving as a resource of hope, encouragement, and validation, us victims of narcissistic abuse can rebuild their lives and pursue dreams, visions, and intentional living.
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. The content shared is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please seek help from a qualified professional or contact a local crisis hotline.
Podcast: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast – available on all major networks
🔗 Additional Healing Resources & Support: 🌟 movingforwardafterabuse.com
