Podcast Episode 81: Hope Without Expectation: Why Women Must Forge Their Own Path

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Hope Without Expectation

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The following is a transcript from the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast

Podcast: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast

Host: Lynn Nichols

In a world where women have been taught to hope for change—hope for help, hope for fairness, hope that men will one day “step up”—this episode is your wake-up call. Hope without strategy is a trap. And women are done waiting.

In this blisteringly honest episode of the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast, Lynn confronts the reality so many women now recognize: even in marriage, many women are still on their own. From performative partnerships to systemic betrayals, we explore what it means to stop pleading for inclusion and instead build a life independent of outdated expectations.

This isn’t a rejection of hope—it’s a redefinition of it. Hope rooted in action, in education, in financial independence, in choosing yourself over the fantasy of being chosen.

We unpack:

• The societal script that rewards women for passivity—and why it’s rigged
• How marriage, motherhood, and emotional labor continue to benefit men
• The 4B movement and why opting out of traditional roles is gaining traction
• What real empowerment looks like: co-housing, mutual aid, sisterhood, and community
• Why advocacy doesn’t require permission—and never did
• How to cultivate emotional, financial, and physical self-defense
• What resilience means in a society that still doesn’t value women’s well-being

This is not about bitterness. This is about clarity.

It’s not about hating men. It’s about no longer centering them.

The path forward is collective and uncompromising. Whether you’re married, single, child-free, or opting out entirely—this episode is a rally cry to shift from waiting to wielding power.

We move forward together—with radical honesty and unbelievable strength.

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As if it wasn’t completely obvious, the women are on our own.

Even the married women.

Many men marry for clout even if they hate their wives. The societal benefits, wage increases, and not having to manage household or emotional responsibilities are the trade-offs they are fine with. They just want her to look good, smile, and be compliant, respect him in public, so he can impress his man-friends.

And when he has to decide to support being part of the man club through his actions or support gender equality, his vested interest in maintaining the status quo garners more weight. And for many women, it did too.

Yes, the economy is important too. Do women control the economy with their purchases? What would happen if women stopped buying cosmetics?

And while we’re no longer using the Not All Men qualifier anymore, because we are adults in this room and you can figure that part out, the actionable strength and the combined hatred men have toward women is beyond hope.

And as Mel Robbins says, “No one is coming for you…”

And especially not even your husband.

Related: When Care Comes Control – Catch the Impactful Episode

Related: Read our overview on the Book on Men, Masculinity and Love by Bell Hooks

Where are the articles that are written by men who fear that their daughters won’t be able to divorce their abusive husbands, or where are the articles that don’t want their pregnant wives to die due to complications in labor? Where are the men advocates who vie for women’s rights because it is a human right, not because they benefit from it somehow (i.e., have a wife and daughters)? Where are the MAGA women, who now understand they voted against women’s rights?

The men have no idea how it feels; they are just glad it isn’t them.

They hope we will forget their betrayal, so they can move on because our discomfort, rage, and betrayal are causing them discomfort.

Hope is a powerful force, but it can also be a dangerous trap when begging or pleading for others to change.

They hope we will forget, so they can move on because our discomfort, rage, and betrayal are causing them discomfort.

Women will no longer carry lingering hope that men will show women support, or encouragement or will even run to the grocery store to get spaghetti sauce.

We are on our own.

To those who support us, we are grateful and we appreciate it.

We all know about the 10 boys in a house experiment and the results. Why did they ever leave the men in charge?

For centuries, women have hoped for meaningful shifts in society , hoping for fairness in the workplace, for their rights to be upheld, and for men to stand as allies in the fight for equality.

And while progress has been made, the reality is sobering: women cannot afford to pin their futures on the promise that men will step up.

Because they keep their boot on the neck of the woman and wonder why she feels any pain at all, they just don’t understand.

The grim truth is that most men are not going to lead the charge for gender equality, advocate for pay equity, or dismantle patriarchal systems that have benefited them for generations.

Some will fight, and for that we are grateful, but these allies remain the exception, not the rule.

Because they keep their boot on the neck of the woman and wonder why she feels any pain at all.

For women in the United States, this means facing a future where collective action and self-reliance are not just empowering but necessary.

It’s time to examine what this shift means in a practical sense.

How do women move forward in a society where male support for change is sparse, and systems remain stacked against them?

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