A Narcissist Seeks 6 Things from You
A narcissist seeks supply, attention in any way, shape or form for sustenance to live. It’s like the air they breathe, like pervasive tree roots looking for water to survive. Tree roots will stretch far and wide to get what it needs to survive–even sometimes under homes!
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The tree doesn’t care that it may cause damage, it will plow on through to get what IT needs.
In the same way, a narcissist searches and seeks this survival sustenance (supply), reaching in all directions to accomplish this task at whatever cost.
Learning what a narcissist needs and how they obtain it is essential to detect a narcissist in our life. Once we can detect and narrow our focus and get clarity, we can take steps to heal and make decisions on how to move forward after the abuse.
If you are seeking ways to detect a narcissist, check out 60 ways to Detect a Narcissist here.
What Does a Narcissist Need?Narcissists Seek 6 things from You
The following list is not exhaustive, the narcissist will need
Undying Devotion and Trust
A narcissist will share stories from their past, all for you to gain respect, trust, and admiration in exchange for your relentless allegiance. They need you to be on “their side” to the eventual cost of your personal goals and aspirations.
They need to know they come first, and everything else in your life does not measure up to their objectives and agenda. They seek you to defend them, even if they are wrong with absolute unwavering devotion.
They want this extreme devotion to pale in comparison with every other priority in your life. They are seeking to be worshiped.
Constant Admiration
A narcissist needs to be cherished, honored, respected as the ultimate authority and know-all in your life. Once a narcissist believes you trust them, they will take this to the next level and will seek out admiration, constant praise, attention, approval, for you to go along with them.
They need your commitment, genuine belief in them and to their mission.
Power and Control
A narcissist needs to overpower you, wear you down to decrease your strength emotionally, physically, relationally, and financially–all of it, different angles all at the same time so that you will need them more and more.
They are trying to build a constant “reserve” system to feed their supply. They need this notion that they are powerful and in control to feed their ego and grant them self-worth.
Value and Importance
A narcissist is looking to have merit, value, and be adept at something. If it’s being adept at controlling you, that breeds value into their life. They will tell stories to inflate themselves and their importance to provide support for their fragile ego.
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Reaction
After a narcissist emotionally abuses or take advantage of you in some way, a narcissist is looking for your strong reaction to their abuse. They receive glory from it on the inside that they have been powerful enough to cause you distress. At the same time, when you do react, they will use it against you and will seek further supply for them.
Related: 4 Reasons Why Narcissists Ignore
Silence
A narcissist will try to control you by teaching you to be silent. If and when you choose to speak out and share the real story of abuse, the narcissist will penalize you heavily for this. They will turn your voice seeking help and clarification on the relationship back around on you and will pull out all the strings to defame you.
They will teach you not to speak out again, or there will be hell to pay. They want you silent so you can be controlled.
It is all about narcissistic supply. It’s the air they breathe. Everything is about this, one way or another.
Learning what a narcissist needs to survive can be eye-opening and can shape a new beginning to recognize abusive behaviors to allow the truth of the matter to shine forth.
Are there people out there that actually live and think like this?
Yes.
If you are looking to see why you may have been targeted by a narcissist, click here.
Resources:
Practical Steps To Leave a Narcissist: If you are seeking practical steps on how to leave a Narcissist, click here.
E-Book to Overcome Devastation after Narcissistic Abuse, click here
My Story: If you would like to hear more about my story, click here.
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