Breadcrumbing: The New Term in Dating and 3 Reasons Why You Need to Be Aware of this Insidious Tactic
In the digital age, dating has become an intricate dance of connections, often leading to unexpected twists and turns.
One such phenomenon that has emerged is breadcrumbing.
No, this has nothing to do with bread, crumbs, or making a mess in the kitchen, but that would be fun wouldn’t it!
We aim to shed light on what breadcrumbing is, why it is important to be aware of it, who typically engages in breadcrumbing behavior, and what steps you can take to navigate this perplexing dating trend.
What is Breadcrumbing?
Breadcrumbing refers to the act of giving someone just enough attention or communication to keep them interested, while intentionally withholding commitment or genuine emotional investment.
It is like leaving a trail of breadcrumbs, providing occasional, enticing morsels to string someone along without any intention of a meaningful relationship.
It's a New Word, But the Concept and Act Has Been Around for a Long Time
What in the world? Do you mean this actually goes on? Absolutely it does and has been going on for years.
It’s great this word is getting traction, right up there with the word, gaslighting.
Over the past couple of years, things have shifted, and women, yes, I said it, are more keen on the deliberate actions of men.
Is it just men? Certainly not, it’s women too, we aim to be objective here.
But it’s the majority of men, and this tactic has been covert for a long time.
You Mean to Tell Me It's Deliberate and Has Been This Whole Time?
Women have seen this tactic, it may have a new name, but women know exactly what this is.
And now we know it’s deliberate.
And a lot of women, aren’t standing for it anymore.
Men have used women, objectified, and have taken advantage of women for their own gain for centuries. Many men, it has also been stated don’t actually believe women are people (ha ha).
Wait til they wake up and discover we are actually human people.
Men have had the stance to extract things from women (i.e. running the house, taking care of children…not having a paid job or career) to their advantage. I will share more on this topic and do not wish to get too sidetracked in this article. Check out Weaponized Incompetence and Why Women are Better Leaders due to the Forced Domestic Labor, an interesting read.
If you are not a member of Medium, you can join with our link. You can have access to all the writers on this platform, publications and who knows maybe even start to write and share your knowledge! By the way, we run a publication called, Moving Forward with Hope.
What is the Big Deal with Breadcrumbing?
Being aware of breadcrumbing is essential to protect your emotional well-being and avoid unnecessary heartache.
Breadcrumbing can create false hope, leading you to invest time and energy into a connection that ultimately goes nowhere.
Recognizing this behavior empowers you to make informed decisions about your relationships and helps you avoid falling into the trap of unfulfilling interactions.
The Hard Truth
Yes, that’s right, you may be interacting with someone on the other end of the phone (through a dating app or wherever) who ultimately is looking to extract something out of you, their intentions are not to have a long-lasting relationship with you.
They want something, and they will stay around either until they get it, (even if it’s some time away), and they will breadcrumb you along as long as possible.
The games are out.
We now see them and are calling out what has been going on for way longer than should have ever happened.
Tell Me More...Who Engages in Breadcrumbing?
Breadcrumbing is not limited to a particular gender or age group; anyone can be guilty of this manipulative behavior.
However, certain personality traits and circumstances might make someone more likely to engage in breadcrumbing.
Those who fear commitment, enjoy the thrill of attention, or seek validation without emotional investment are often prone to breadcrumbing others.
What are the Signs of Breadcrumbing?
To protect yourself from breadcrumbing, it’s important to recognize the signs early on. Here are a few common red flags to watch out for:
- Inconsistent Communication: Breadcrumbers tend to be sporadic in their messaging, often going silent for extended periods before resurfacing with a flurry of attention.
- Mixed Signals: They might show intermittent interest, offering compliments and flattery one day, only to withdraw and become distant the next.
- Lack of Commitment: Breadcrumbers avoid making concrete plans for the future or discussing the possibility of a committed relationship.
- Minimal Emotional Investment: Breadcrumbing often involves surface-level conversations, lacking depth or genuine emotional connection.
What Do We Do?
What to Do About Breadcrumbing:
- Trust Your Intuition: If something feels off or inconsistent in the relationship, listen to your gut. Recognizing the signs of breadcrumbing early on can help you protect your emotions.
- Communicate Your Needs: Openly express your desires and expectations for the relationship. If the other person is not willing to meet them, it might be time to reassess the connection.
- Establish Boundaries: Set clear boundaries for yourself and stick to them. Avoid investing excessive time and energy in someone who shows signs of breadcrumbing.
- Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize your own well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends and family who can offer guidance and understanding.
- Keep an Open Mind: While being cautious is important, don't let the fear of breadcrumbing prevent you from exploring new connections. Approach dating with a healthy dose of skepticism, but also maintain an open mind to the potential for genuine connections.
Breadcrumbing can be a frustrating and emotionally draining experience, but by understanding its nature and recognizing the signs, you can navigate the world of modern dating more effectively.
Remember to prioritize your own well-being, communicate your needs, and establish boundaries. By doing so, you empower yourself to seek genuine connections that offer the love and commitment you deserve.
While breadcrumbing make a mess of your countertop, it may also make a mess of your dating and/or personal life.
Have you been breadcrumbed? Have you been lead on in a relationship only to find out they had no intention of having a meaningful relationship with you? How did this make you feel? Drop a comment below and share your experience!