Insights for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: 10+ Essential Tips for Victims
I have been a narcissistic ab&se recovery coach since 2019, my heart has a passion to see lives healed and fully recovered while understanding the depth and intracacies of narcissistic abuse.
I still have in my opinion, too much empathy, and, need at times to pull back on it and not give it out so frequently. But that is another article…I digress.
Today, friends, we are going to talk about several things….If I had everyone I have ever spoken to about narcissistic ab&se in a room, all victims, all survivors, all those who have been wrongfully manipulated, taken advantage of, belittled, and have had their soul ripped from those who have been impacted by these societal bullies, this is a summary of what I would say….
My heart to this day wants people to obtain clarity, to see the tactics, to see what others are doing to them, to come out of cognitive dissonance, separate from the trauma bond, and walk in your own light.
Narcissistic Ab&se is Theft and Robbery
Narcissistic ab&se is theft and robbery. It’s robbery of your soul, your skills present and future, it’s theft of your heart.
Someone has seen your wonderful skills, talents, your pure heart, and they want it because they don’t have one, but need one to accomplish what they want in life, so they use your good heart and your good nature, so they can get ahead and get the things they want.
It’s a sick and twisted world out there, friends.
Many people who are victims of this type of ab&se may not understand this at first.
They may think people are inherently good, and mean well and that no one wants to cause harm and destruction…
But yes, there are people who are evil, they hide it well, and because they still need to live they will extract your power right out from under you through manipulative tactics, so they can operate.
This my friends is the act of narcissism.
It’s theft of your heart, and theft of your soul, and theft of your thoughts, actions… the list continues.
Besides what I have just stated here, in addition, please remember the following insights as it relates to your recovery:
It's Wasn't Your Fault
The first and most crucial thing to understand is that narcissistic abuse is not your fault.
Narcissists manipulate and exploit others for their own gain, using cunning tactics to control and demean their victims.
Remember, you are not to blame for their toxic behavior.
Insight: You Deserve Better
Narcissistic abuse can strip you of your self-worth and leave you feeling trapped and powerless.
It’s important to realize that you deserve to be treated with respect, love, and kindness. You are worthy of healthy and fulfilling relationships.
At the first instance, when someone treats you unfavorably, do not give them a second chance. I had to learn this the hard way.
When someone disrespects you – you do not need to grace them with your presence anymore. You are out. You see their colors.
Maybe I’m older (and hopefully wiser now), but I will not give second chances. I will rather do my own thing, than put myself in their presence, again. I’m out. O – U – T.
When others disrespect you, this is a time, for you to stand up and respect yourself.
You are your own hero.
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Insight: You're Feelings are Valid
Throughout the abuse, you were gaslighted, belittled, or made to question your own reality.
Understand that your emotions are real and valid. Trust your instincts and listen to your inner voice. Your feelings matter, and you have the right to express them.
Society too, makes us believe that our feelings are not valid.
My friends, you feel the way you feel for a reason.
If you feel bad after you have had a conversation with someone, there is a reason why.
It’s either because they subtly made you feel less than, not worthy, or whatever it is, your feelings and your gut intuition is speaking loudly to your inner soul, here. LISTEN TO IT. Do not negate your feelings.
Listen to your heart, listen to your soul, get quiet, spend time alone, and regain your inner strength.
No Contact is the Best Option
Cutting off contact with the narcissistic abuser is often the most effective way to begin your healing journey.
Yes, I believe you cannot heal in the same environment.
You have to get away.
You have to move to a new environment and let things shift. You need to be in a new place to gain new perspective, new experiences, to shake, rattle and roll the world you were subjected to.
This may be challenging, especially if you have been enmeshed in a toxic relationship, but establishing and maintaining boundaries is crucial for your well-being.
It’s is not easy…but you are worth it.
Self-Care is Essential
Prioritize self-care as you recover from narcissistic abuse.
Focus on activities that bring you joy, promote your well-being, and help you reconnect with yourself.
Engage in hobbies, practice mindfulness, seek therapy, surround yourself with positive influences, and take care of your physical, emotional, and mental health.
As you recover, and learn about narcissistic abuse, the recovery is a process with various stages, and the path is not linear.
You might learn a lot about yourself in the process, which is part of the process. You might learn that you love to do certain things, while you loathe other things. There is so much to learn about ourselves, your life priorities may shift, your life goals might shift…
Taking care of yourself is important, essential, and at times when we go through the recovery phrase, you may find that you neglected yourself for years, even decades.
I love it when I speak with people, and they discover new hobbies, new interests they didn’t even know they had, while other hobbies and interests faded away.
But it’s not about your hobbies.
It’s the rebuilding of your heart, the way your heart was meant to be.
Your heart starts to smile again.
Educate Yourself About Narcissistic Ab&se
Knowledge is power.
Educating yourself about narcissistic abuse can help you understand the dynamics at play and validate your experiences.
It can also aid in identifying red flags and preventing future involvement with toxic individuals.
Friends, I have to be frank with you. If you have read any of my 100+ Articles on this site, you will know I care deeply for you and want the absolute best for you.
At the same time, I have to be honest.
You have to learn about narcissistic ab&se. You have to learn the tactics, what it does to a person when they are subjected to it for a short time, long time, decades. You have to learn why they do it, what they gain from it, and how it impacts you personally, professionally, socially, – all of it.
It’s not a game.
When we do not learn the tactics and how to detect, we will fall right back into it – it will just be with a different person or set of circumstances because narcissists are like predators, a different person, will see your skill set of empathy and will try to use you so they have access to your skills.
I believe detecting these types of relationships and human interactions is key to living your best life.
You have to know your enemy.
This is why I am so passionate about this subject. I lived in the dark for decades, and yet these tactics were running circles around me and I fell to it every time -without knowing.
They don’t want people to know these tactics.
Embrace the Roller Coaster Ride of Personal Growth
Narcissistic abuse can be a catalyst for personal transformation.
Use this experience as an opportunity to rediscover yourself, define your values, and cultivate a life filled with authenticity, joy, and healthy relationships.
Embrace personal growth, and know that you have the power to create a brighter future.
I had no idea how much my life would be different after I discovered the patterns that were happening over and over again.
Going through narcissistic ab&se is a terrible terrible awful situation and I wish it upon no one. When we discover that we were a victim, and can see and detect the tactics, and choose to move forward, and go on a different life journey, one that includes healing and recovery, what will the future hold?
That is my question to you, my friend, what and how will your life be different?
I want you to do whatever you want to do…this is your life and I want you to accomplish whatever is in your heart to do so.
Being under narcissism, is like carrying an unknown (or known) weight and when we can be free, opportunity arises.
Drop a comment, share your experience, share a comment!
XO
Lynn
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Thank you so much for all your help! I have lived with narcissism for 65 years now. Although I don’t reside with my mother it took a long time before I actually recognized the behavior. It took me to be in a serious relationship with a severe narc
before I started to realize I had been her victim all my life. She still harrasses me through letters. It wasn’t until lately that I finally let her know that she doesn’t control my life anymore and I refuse to allow her any more control. I sent her letter back unopened. I am finally taking my life back and away from her!
Thank you for sharing your story. Recognizing these patterns after so many years takes real courage. Sending back her letters unopened and setting clear boundaries shows you’re reclaiming your power. You’ve already taken the hardest step—acknowledging the abuse—and now you’re free to build the life you deserve. Keep trusting yourself and honoring your needs. You’re not alone on this path, and every moment you choose yourself is a victory.