Energy Vampires: Is it All About Narcissistic Supply?

You may have heard the term narcissistic supply and at first, you may have been perplexed by it.

Yes. It’s a rather ambiguous term and without going to google to look it up, it can leave you feeling confused and wondering what supply really is.

In this article I hope to bring clarity on: (1) what is narcissistic supply, (2) how this benefits the narcissist and (3) why you may feel drained or confused afterward.

Narcissistic supply is the energy or attention a narcissist needs from another person(s) or event, constantly.

Purpose of Narcissistic Supply

The whole purpose and intent of supply is for the narcissist to extract from someone the juice, or energy for them to continue.

One of the best video’s I have seen lately depicting the reality of this behavior is the last words that Kevin heard from his father. While I won’t state what the last words were, it coordinates with the narcissist feeling empty and lacking purpose throughout their life.

A narcissist will truly feel they need the words, affirmations, and energy from others in order for them to have a sense of self.

Watch the Video Here!

Listen to the Podcast Episode

The Narcissist Lacks A Sense of Self

A narcissist does not have a sense of self.

They will always want more, even if they are at the pinnacle of their supply.

More, more, more, should be a narcissist’s motto. Whatever supply or attention is bestowed upon a narcissist, it will never be enough. This is why it’s futile to be in relationship with a narcissist. For the narcissist will always need to extract energy from you and others.

It's All About the Attention

Why does the narcissist do this? They need the energy. Yes, it comes down to their need. And a narcissist does not have empathy so there is no consideration given for how you are left after an encounter with them. A narcissist needs others.

The interaction between a narcissist and another individual can and with intent can cause a disturbance (emotional or physical).

When the narcissist is extracting energy (supply) from you, this can steal your peace and steal your joy.

The same energy extraction can over time, leave you with a feeling of being less than, or not enough which can cause an attraction to a narcissist, because they provide attention for a time, and a feel good mentality. But the end goal is the same. The narcissist is on the receiving end of the attention without a care or concern for their victim.

Is There Always a Motive?

A narcissist engages with you because they have a motive. They are on a clear mission to get what they need. They don’t think of other people in the sense of how they will be left afterward. They will think of themselves first. A narcissist sees others as pawns, or figures in a chess game, that through manipulation or deceit, can cause them to:

Get ahead in whatever goal they are trying to accomplish (supply, career, energy, controlling the perception of others)
Knocking others down because it inflates them (their perception)
They are trying to win at the game and to win you over by setting you up to be be future supply.
They will absolutely enjoy knocking you down a peg, because they sense 1), the power, control, and authority they feel and have to do such things. 2), They enjoy the outcome of the event(s) and what they obtain from it which is the supply.

Narcissistic Supply Does Damage

A narcissist does not care that the supply they are in need of often causes confusion for others, disunity and a commotion. The bigger the reaction to their behavior, the greater level of supply is provided to them.

This extraction of supply from you creates an imbalance, it’s leaving you with less power and energy and even a feeling of deflation, while the narcissist’s energy increases as they are filled temporarily.