Be Alert to the Narcissist's 7 Devious Tools of Distraction
If you’ve just checked your Twitter feed, Instagram DM’s, email, text and your new TikTok blast in the last 15 minutes, while driving and eating your lunch, you may agree that our current reality encapsulates a life of ongoing distractions.
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While we navigate the fast-paced world around us, amidst living in a distracted culture, we may also have a fair share of mental distraction within a dysfunctional narcissistic relationship albeit interpersonally or globally.
In this article we are going to define distraction, the devious side of it within the realm of narcissistic relationships, ways to detect and see the tactics, the reasoning behind it, and conclude with how we can prevent from falling into the scheme of distraction and see the wool before it is attempted to be pulled over our eyes.
Let’s begin.
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Are we distracted?
Simply put, distraction is something that turns your attention away from something you want to concentrate on. It’s also known as a diversion, interference or an interruption.
While one study estimated 27% of people are digitally distracted, you may also be facing a high level of distraction if you have encountered a narcissist. Do you think there is a correlation? If so, why do you think that is?
Narcissists Use Tactics to Distract
While social media may be the blatant or obvious method where we can see our distractions at bay, it can be much more subtle when a narcissist distracts. Let’s explore further the indirect methods that are commonly used.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a cover-up. The narcissist draws your attention from the real issue(s) and deflects your attention to something else, or restates what they believe you should think, feel or have knowledge of. Gaslighting is meant to hide or conceal something – a distraction. Could it be we are or have been gaslight without our knowledge?
Related: Guide to Terms
Circular Conversations
Have you ever been involved in a conversation where questions are either not responded to, or the answer has nothing to do with the question (side rail), or the topic just goes round and round with no resolution?
A narcissist will create circular conversations, which have no end in sight as a method to distract you. What are they hiding? Is there something they do not want you to know? Why is the conversation getting derailed over and over again?
Table of Contents
Blame Shifting
Chronically, a narcissist will shift blame from them to you. They fail to take responsibility for actions, words spoken, promises made, etc. as they try to reposition the blame without you noticing. Have you seen this tactic play out?
Narcissistic Rage
When an individual responds with narcissistic rage, not only are they trying to control the response and reaction from others, but they are causing a major distraction from the issue (whatever it is) by having an episode of rage.
When a narcissist is in full rage, they have terrified their victim(s), many move into deep fear and whatever was discussed prior has been squandered and the focus has shifted to survive the rage incident.
The mission of distraction has been accomplished. The narcissist has deliberately engaged in a planned rage moment to distract from whatever they do not want to face and to further condition their victim into responding in a certain manner. They are using immense fear as the tactic of distraction.
Deception
Deception is the ultimate hidden distraction. The layers of deception can run deep and it’s often difficult to get to the bottom of things and gain clear insight, which is the whole purpose of distraction. Do you think there is more deception today than in years past? What do you think is driving this?
Entertainment to Create Distraction
According to an article, the average user in 2020, spends 2 hours and 24 minutes per day on social media and is increasing every year. Entertainment historically speaking has been used to create a diversionary tactic, to draw people away from something. To learn more, study the ideology behind bread and circus.
One thing I found interesting in my research was how cinema was used to distract Germans from the war, check out the article here.
Diverting Attention
When a diversionary tactic is created, our attention and focus aligns with something new. Shifting focus and modifying attention is a key element to distract away from something someone does not want seen. Have you ever noticed someone try to divert your attention away and to focus on something else?
Why are we Being Distracted?
There could be many reasons why we are being distracted unbeknownst to us at the time, as the tactics are meant to be clever, hidden, but absolutely planned and deliberate. There could be several reasons to ask if we conclude there is a distraction at hand:
1) If they don’t want us to focus on something, why is that? What is the motivation?
2) Are we being conditioned for something? If so, what is it?
3) If we weren’t so distracted, what would we be doing otherwise?
4) If we are being lied to and deceived, what is it they don’t want us to know about?
5) Is our time being robbed from us to focus on the unimportant and trivial as opposed to what really matters?
6) Are we living in a time of bread and circuses?
Side Note: This article is to not speak ill of social media or the media in and of itself, and while it has its benefits, there may be more to the story than surface level. My point is to examine the messages with a wide arm – meaning not only from within a narcissistic structure but to be open to the possibility of large-scale messages of manipulation, deception, which may be a deliberate distraction, globally.
How Can we prevent Distraction?
In today’s world, it may be difficult to eliminate distractions, but we can start with awareness. We can spend our time however we want, and we can digest information 24/7, but we have to set our own limits on how much we will tolerate.
When we self-monitor and control our own consumption, it may have positive benefits we may not have anticipated.
Related: Get off the Treadmill of Performance
In conclusion
As we live in our fast-paced society filled with endless distractions, sometimes one of the best things we can do is to evaluate our consumption not only on social media platforms, but to evaluate distractions from all other sources and ask ourselves some interrogative questions to see if we are missing a bigger picture which requires further evaluation.
Once we see the tactics a narcissist uses to distract within interpersonal relationships, we may also be able to see the same tactics on a much larger scale.
When we step aside from our current schedule and assess our consumption, we may be able to see some of the tactics that are enticing to draw us away from what we deem should have higher priority.
Leave a Comment
Do you think we are living in a distracted society? How are you managing your time spent on social media? Do you think there is a bigger picture unfolding behind the scenes? Have you seen an increase in distraction lately, drop a comment and let us know!
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