Self-Doubt: 5 Insidious Reasons Why It's the Narcissists' Greatest Weapon Against You
The Grip of Self-Doubt
If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist or an emotional abuser, albeit family member or spouse, you may not realize, but after a while, your confidence has dwindled.
You second guess yourself, then bit by bit, self-doubt takes a grip.
It starts off slow, it can be from a tone of voice, it can be from lack of validation or from even a direct accusation that you should not pursue whatever in your heart and mind to accomplish.
If you feel your spouse is a narcissist, please see: Is my spouse a narcissist – 60 Ways to Detect
Narcissists are energy vampires and will do all they can, so you doubt and turn on yourself.
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Self-Doubt Can Look Different to Everyone
Self-doubt, according to Merriam-Webster as a lack in oneself, a feeling of doubt or uncertainty about one’s abilities, actions, etc.
It can show its ugly head by backing down, not feeling the fire that once was burning deep inside, and we give up on things once held so close to our heart.
A narcissist will create an environment of self-doubt to breed in the relationship. A narcissist wants to you think a certain way, in a way that allows them to continue to have control.
Self-Doubt says things like:
- I can’t do that,
- No one….
- I am not…
- She told me that…
- I should just…
It can also show up as explaining, justifying and defending.
A narcissist will create an environment where self-doubt is common. A narcissist does not want you to have confidence, to be risk-taker, and to be full of life and energy.
They want to keep you–unambitious.
Impact of Self-Doubt
Self-doubt creates a huge second guessing habit, reliance on others to validate and prevents you from living to your best potential. It takes away ambition and creates internal conflict (become at war with oneself), not to mention it creates supply for the narcissist, which they love.
On a broader scale, it’s what keeps many people stuck. Stuck in life and stuck in an unhealthy relationship and it wears you down after a while.
If you did not doubt, what would you do?
Why the Narcissist Thrives WHEN Creating an Atmosphere of Self-Doubt
Fear of Abandonment
One of the biggest fears of a narcissist is that their support network (supply) will dry up. They keep various sources engaged for when they need to re-fuel. If you are one of the primary sources of fuel for a narcissist, they want to ensure you remain in your place.
Their Love For Control
Narcissists love to control what you think (yes, brainwashing) to suit their needs. If they can control you enough with consistency, they have built in a steady source of supply for them. (yes, it is all about them).
Your Reactions Feed them Supply
If they can create an atmosphere where you doubt your ability to improve yourself, it limits your ability to escape the relationship – their biggest weapon.
They want you to remain stuck in the relationship so they can continue the abuse cycle, so they feel important.
A narcissist needs you to doubt, think less than what you are capable of, and to operate under their stronghold of authority and to operate under their plan for you.
They will tell you sweet lies to keep you engaged, but they are all lies and they are to keep you in alignment.
Is self-doubt running your life? Are you struggling to overcome? Is there a business idea that you have and want to start?
In conclusion
A narcissist uses manipulative tactics to cause you to turn on yourself by creating an environment of self-doubt. They are securing a re-fueling station with your name on it, so you are always there for them whenever they need it.
Self-doubt can become a habit and often starts out subtle, then grows.
Have you ever talked yourself out of something? Have you minimized your talents, gifts, skills and desire to have an impact?
We’d love to hear stories of how you have overcome doubt in your life? How is your life different? What changes did you have to make? Drop a comment below.
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